This is not going to be the typical man sees woman, woman sees man and they both fall in love type of story. This story is more like a roller coaster mixed with a little bit of demolition derby.

As most of you already know we are not very typical individuals, we are very strong willed (ie stubborn) independent individuals. Anna and I have many things in common with one another. Anna comes from a family who is very close and very supportive as do I, we are both the babies of our families although Anna is only the baby by 2 minutes because she is an identical twin (this comes to play in the story as well), we both love sports, we are both very outgoing individuals, so on and so on. So you figure with all of these things in common we should be just fine in a relationship, right? Well we also both had one huge thing in common, we were both hurting individuals who had not allowed God to heal us before we started our relationship.

 The relationship began on a bad not to start off with. I was working as a Graduate Assistant at Fort Hays State University and she was the Instructor I was helping with her class. I was told that she was very hard to get in touch with because she was hardly ever there. So right away I was frustrated with her because I needed to meet with her and figure out what she needed me to do for class. She was finally pointed out to me in the hall way so when I went to talk to her she informed me that she was not Anna, she was her twin sister Emily, so again a little frustrated that I could not find this girl. A couple days later we finally met and I figured out what she needed me to do. I know for me that when we met I already thought she was beautiful and her personality was really great. She says that she didn't think anything more about me than just being her Teaching Assistant (I know she is lying though).

  I began to get to know her more and more not only from working with her but also through helping with a college ministry at FHSU called Encounter. The more I got to know her the more and more I liked her. One night when I was at her house I asked her if she wanted to date me. We had many great moments when we started dating, however, they were overshadowed by the fear that Anna had. We went back and forth until one day she finally realized she wanted to go all in, but by this point I was exhausted from being on such an emotional roller coaster that we were on I finally called it quits. This came right after we went to St. Louis to celebrate my birthday by going to a Cardinals game, I know not the best timing.

 Once we were broken up I realized that I really didn't want to be done, however, her heart was all in and I had now shattered it. She tried to continue to date me for a long time, however, she never let her heart heal, mainly because I thought I could heal it, boy was I wrong. We were in and out of our relationship for well over a year. It was the most emotionally draining relationship. There was nothing but selfishness and bitterness between the two of us. I would not wish that type of relationship on anyone. We just went through the motions of a relationship because we were comfortable with each other and neither of us wanted to "hurt" the other, which in reality that's exactly what we were doing.

 This past Thanksgiving Anna decided she would come down and spend it with my family. The entire time both of us were really empty and just trying to give it one last go. She didn't really care to be there with me and I could easily tell (I can read her like a book). However, we made it through thanksgiving and on to Christmas. I told her that I wasn't going to hold anything back anymore and that I was really going to stop letting fear get to me and finally go all in with our relationship. So this last Christmas that is exactly what I did, I gave it my all. The sad thing is, it was only me that went all in and once again I was doing it without the The Lord. Well since it was only me that was trying I finally told her that I was done. She really wanted to be done also, so I just made it happen. This time I was done for good.

  During this time I realized that I was trying to do everything on my own strength and in my own timing. I put so much effort into that relationship that I forgot that there was someone much more important that I needed to have a relationship with. So one weekend playing softball in Texas I decided that I was going to let everything go and focus on my relationship with The Lord. When I FINALLY did that I had peace that one day Anna and I would get married, but for some reason if we didn't I was still going to be ok. I was going to find peace in The Lord and keep it. Little did I know that Anna had finally done the same thing, except she didn't have peace that we would be married, she had peace that we were done. I returned to Texas and told her what I had realized and she told me she was happy for me, however, she did not see us getting back together. That was hard to hear but I just smiled (which annoyed her) and went on growing in my walk with The Lord, as did she.

  A couple of months had passed and I had applied for a job in Arkansas at Arkansas Tech as the Coordinator of Campus Recreation. This is 1 hour from my family. I waited until the last day to turn in my resume' because I was fearful that I might get the job and actually leave Anna for good; that thought terrified me. The next week after applying I received a call saying they wanted to interview me. I went to Arkansas interviewed and got the job offer the next day. I asked for 5 days to pray about it and think it over. The first person I told was Anna, I called her and told her they just offered me the position and she didn't want to even talk about it. I took the next 5 days and prayed about it. I told Anna that if she was serious about getting back together and marrying me then I would turn the job down. She informed me she was at peace with being done. So now I am writing this from my desk at Arkansas Tech University.

  After I took the job I went to a conference in Orlando, Florida and everyone knows you can't go to Orlando and not see Mickey. I took a group of students to Disney World and we had a great time. There was just one thing missing and that was Anna. We had not spoken a word for at least 2 months at this point. I noticed that she began to watch a lot (All) of my snapchat stories I was posting. Not only was she watching them she also began to snap (which she never does, I mean never). I told my cousin who was with me at Disney that she was snapchatting because she missed me. I said to myself that if by the end of the night, if I still had peace about it I would send a snapchat of the fireworks over the castle saying "I wish you were here". So at the end of the night that is exactly what I did. She immediately responded and we began talking again. We slowly began talking and praying about getting back together and once we realized that we were no longer going to let fear dictate what we did we began dating again. Then the time came for me to look for a ring and have that dreaded talk with her dad, which was very nerve-racking but ended up being a great conversation about this "Twin Thing" that non of us get, haha. He and Anna's mom (who walked in later) gave me their blessing to ask their daughter to be my wife.

  We have realized that we are two broken individuals, living in a broken world and because of that we need to have an Merciful, Loving God in the Center of our lives and our relationship. We know we will never be perfect however, we will strive each day to love each other in the same way that Christ loves us.